A personal note from the Phenomenal Desk of Donald J. Trump directly to you…
Dear Friends,
I’ve had a lot, I mean A LOT, of people, thousands and thousands, probably millions of people tell me that they can’t wait to make America great again and how badly they want me to build a wall.
I’m happy to say that the President of Lego, a very good friend of mine (he’d vote for me if he could) said to me, “Hey, I want to do what I can to make America great again.”
So I bought the Lego Corporation. He wanted to give it to me, but I said no, you’re a hard-working man and you deserve to be paid for it. So we’re gonna build a wall, which thanks to the President of Lego, a great guy by the way, is now going to be ten feet higher.
We’re opening up a factory in Detroit, and we’re going to bring in new jobs to the great, great, really great city of Detroit, because let’s face it, Detroit is a disaster. A total disaster. I’m going to bring in thousands and thousands of jobs to Detroit. And Detroit is going to WIN. How many of my opponents, which frankly, I think should all just give up already, they’re losing so badly to me, I’m beating them by a LOT…how many of these liars are bringing in jobs, I ask?
Anyway, before we get started on this tremendous project, I want to give the American people a piece of the action. You can get your very own Trump Make America Great Again Build a Wall Gold Commemorative Brick.
The Trump Make America Great Again Build a Wall Gold Commemorative Brick
This is a very special brick. It’s very special. It’s a tremendous brick. It’s made of authentic virtual gold, and it’s made in America because we are going to make America great again and quite frankly, the more bricks you buy, the more jobs I will create in America, because I hate to tell you folks, but the rich need to be richer to create jobs. And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. If they do, just punch ’em in the face. With one of these incredible bricks.
These bricks are so incredible, I could throw one at a protester on 5th Avenue and I still wouldn’t lose any votes. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone brought a brick to the GOP convention in the event I don’t win the Republican nomination.
These gold Trump bricks are a perfect addition to any home, whether you choose the Executive line for your Boardroom, or the Evangelical line–I love the Evangelicals–are they even Christian?–for your pulpit.
Our most popular line, the Bigget, comes in a boxed set of four amazing bricks to ensure that rusted out Ford in your weed-overgrown driveway stays level.
And all of my bricks, these are tremendous bricks, folks (Chris Christie has already bought a thousand for his backyard in Jersey), all these bricks come with a Certificate of Authenticity, so you know it’s a good brick.
You pay practically nothing for this brick, because I’m such a nice guy. It’s just a few dollars every month for the rest of your life, that’s it.
And don’t think the money raised from this is going toward building a wall at the border. Mexico is still paying for that wall, and they’ll be HAPPY to do it. And don’t think the money will go toward my presidential campaign. I’m paying for that out of my own pocket. No, this is a business venture, one of my many amazing business ventures, one that has made me very, very successful.
So you’re gonna want to get a LOT of bricks, believe me. A lot of bricks means a lot of jobs. And a lot of jobs will make America great again. Imagine if everyone had their own wall of Trump gold bricks…
We need to win, folks, we’re not winning any more, but if you start your own gold brick wall, we’re all gonna be winners. And we’re gonna unite the party–we need to unite the party and trust me, these bricks are gonna do just that.
So get a brick, get out and vote, and get that guy outta here. Unbelievable, this guy.
(Fabulous Trump caricature by Donkey Hotey)
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